It’s one of those days where its so damn hard to muster even a tiny ounce of motivation. I wish I could bottle motivation so that I can use it on the days where I have none.
Most days I feel like I have an endless supply of motivation, as if it were overflowing from my pores. But on some days, I feel like motivation is as rare as squeezing blood from a rock.
Is demotivation married to loneliness? Are they dating or something? Everytime I lose motvation, loneliness always seems to be there in the shadows.
Unwanted visitors are the worst. You can never seem to get rid of them easily. Like most unwanted visitors, loneliness overstays its welcome.
On days like these, I hate waking up in the mornings. I go to work and I hate my job. I hate traveling to work and at the end of the day I hate going home. I feel as if I have nothing to look forward to when I get home. It is days like today that I realise how important my fiance is to me. I miss him terribly. Its so hard to be so far away from him. After a long day, I just want to come home to him. But all I come home to is loneliness.
But I stop short of feeling sorry for myself. I don’t want to go down that path. I recognise today for what it is. Just another bad day. A bad day stemmed from missing my fiance…and probably also from lack of sleep. I feel so drained and empty.
What I wouldn’t give to have my fiance right here with me…
